On the Global Leadership Gala

Two weeks ago I was fortunate enough to get to attend the Whitehead School's Global Leadership Gala at the New York Public Library as a "student ambassador". It's a big fundraiser for the school and someone important gets a Global Leadership Award (which is embodied by a crystal globe that comes in an awfully large Tiffany's box....sparkly!).

This year's honoree was the Honorable Frank C. Carlucci: former U.S. Navy Officer, deputy secretary of defense, deputy director of central intelligence, ambassador to Portugal (and others), assistant to President Reagan for national security of affairs, and secretary of defense from 1987-89.

Anyway, pictures from the event recently went up on the school's website, so I thought I'd share a few. It was a very beautiful evening and great times were had by all.

The front entrance, with candles leading the way

Cocktail hour in the main lobby

Danielle, *can't remember*, me, Mie-Na, and Florence during cocktail hour

Table settings in the ballroom

Dinner in the ballroom

Table #21

Tiffany's globe and school insignia

Dean Menzies, Mr. Carlucci, Mr. Whitehead, Monsignor Sharon, and others

On Being a Responsible Consumer

In other words, NOT being what I've been for the last few days.

Thursday morning I work up very early with a flaming throat and full sinuses. That night on the way back from class I picked up my staple drug for colds: 12-hour Sudafed (the kind you have to get from the pharmacist because it contains pseudoephedrine). I'm telling you, that stuff is magical. As magical as a decongestant can get anyway.

Of course cold medication only treats symptoms, so I still got really sick and ended up with sinus and double ear infections. I also couldn't sleep. From 4 a.m. Thursday morning until 3:30 a.m. this morning (Tuesday), I never slept more than 2 hours at a time and never more than 4 hours a night. I thought that was weird, because I know my body wants to sleep so it can heal faster. I would lay on my futon in exhausted, head-pain misery for hours trying to sleep. Nothing.

Yesterday I was feeling better (not great, but coherent!) and spent the whole day at the library, where I pounded out a 13 page paper that was due by 5. I was totally wiped out, so I came home expecting to go to bed and sleep until kingdom come. Because I was feeling better, I took my last 12-hour Sudafed around six and planned to swap down to a milder decongestant today.
But I didn't fall asleep until 3:30 a.m.

Today I put together another 13 page paper and planned on going to bed early. However, it's rapidly approaching 1 a.m. and I'm exhausted but not feeling sleepy in the least. After commenting to my mom about how weird it is that I haven't been sleeping even though I'm really ill, I did a quick Google search on the side effects of pseudoephedrine. Guess what? It causes sleeplessness in 30% of users.

So then I decided to look at all that fine print on the box. Sure enough, in big bold black letters: STOP USE AND ASK A DOCTOR IF NERVOUSNESS, DIZZINESS, OR SLEEPLESSNESS OCCURS.

That's fun. I've been sleepless for five full days. Well today (for 36 hours now) I've been taking a milder decongestant that doesn't contain pseudoephedrine. It's phenylephrine in four hour doses. I took one about twenty minutes ago and starting checking back of boxes soon after. Guess what's on the back of this box too? And guess who isn't feeling sleepy?

Might as well put a movie in. Morpheus isn't picking me up anytime soon.

Note to self: READ THE FINE PRINT. Especially when it's going into your body. Idiot.

On Polygamy and Being LDS (Mormon)

I haven't slept much the last few days because I've had a bad sinus infection and double ear infections. If you've never experienced this before, it's painful and miserable. To pass the time when I've been too miserable to sleep and too doped up/delirious to do anything productive (the last three days), I've been watching this show about the FBI.

At about 3:30 this morning, I started watching an episode where the FBI goes after a polygamist leader who is, among other things, crazy. There were child "spiritual brides", an insanely inbred family tree (the girl's mom was also her half-sister), and a standoff between the "prophet" and his "saints" and the FBI. They were on their way to build "The New City".

Polygamy is always an uncomfortable subject when you're Mormon. People say and believe all sorts of strange things about you, and sometimes it's difficult to know how to explain. It's even difficult to understand, especially as a woman in the Church. However, it is a part of our history. For me, I understand now that it was part of the restoration of all things and that at the time there was a practical necessity. So many men had been killed or taken away, and it was a way to look after the widows during that dreadful relocation west. It most definitely was NOT the product of perverted, demented male motives. It was difficult for everyone involved.

The polygamy and fundamentalism that was shown on this show, the same of the 'Warren Jeffs' variety (which was the inspiration for the show), makes me angry. I don't mean mildly irritated, or even resentful, I mean angry. White hot flashes of abhorrence. It is awful, it is vile, and it is a mockery of the sacred. That these disgusting men call themselves "prophet" and do horrible things in the name of God fills me with wrath. I know that God will have his vengeance, but oh boy would I love to help.

The history of the LDS church is in many ways a black mark on the history of the United States. The very reason that the pilgrims came to the America in the first place, religious freedom, was left in the dust. Tens of thousands of people were persecuted, driven from their homes, and attacked because of their religion. The governor of Missouri issued an official executive extermination order, saying that the Mormons had to be killed or driven from state. There was a mass exodus to the west, where they could find a place "where none shall come to hurt or make afraid". Thousands more died on that journey. People were attacked, tortured, persecuted, murdered, and endured enormous suffering because of law-exempt mobs and an inept government. It was a vicious trial by fire, and while they were far from perfect, the exodus from upstate New York to Utah is a sacred part of our history. I think we all, on some level, identify with them. It is still sometimes difficult to be Mormon.

It's that history that comes to mind every time the polygamist fundamentalists come up. It all seems such a mockery, such a skewing. They've taken something that was sacred and good and warped it into something that is anything but. It couldn't be farther from what the original was, but it's recognizable enough in form that it stains us as an LDS faith and insults the memory of those who died and suffered in search of freedom and rest. And that, friends, makes me angry.

On Eating Crow

So many things to say...yet all I have time for now is to admit that a few days ago, I went back on my word. I left my ATM card in the ATM, which is in an indoor area that can only be accessed with an ATM card, and lost one of a pair of earrings I was wearing for the first time (ever), all in a matter of hours. While it was snowing and my feet were wet and cold.

After realizing my earring was gone and as I was checking out at the dollar store in the mall (you know you're at a classy mall when there's a dollar store!), bug-poo in a colorful bag was screaming my name. I knew I'd feel better if I ate them.

So I did. I ate bug-poo Skittles. And they were tasty.

More on the more intellectual aspects of my life later, which are more abundant than I'm making it appear. I promise my life is not revolving around bug-poo. Well, not entirely.

Nooooo!

I haven't written in a while because I've had so much pinging around in my brain and haven't been able to decide what to write. Part of the problem is that most of what I think about these days has to do with what I'm studying (it's funny what happens when all of your classes revolve around what you love, rather than GE requirements and such...it takes over your whole brain).

However, I learned something tonight that was too world-rocking not to be shared:

Shellac is a resin secreted by the female lac bug to form a cocoon, on trees in the forests of India and Thailand....Shellac is edible and it is used as a glazing agent on pills and candies in the form of pharmaceutical glaze (alternatively, confectioner's glaze). Because of its alkaline properties, shellac-coated pills may be used for a timed enteric or colonic release. It is also used to replace the natural wax of the apple, which is removed during the cleaning process. When used for this purpose, it has the food additive E number E904. This should not be considered vegetarian as it may, and probably does, contain crushed insects. In the tablet manufacture trade, it is sometimes referred to as "beetlejuice" for this reason.

That delicious candy shell on Skittles is made from BUG POO. And contains CRUSHED BUGS. And APPLES ARE COVERED IN IT. I hate learning things like this, I really do.

I'm not eating Skittles anytime soon. And I'm switching to oranges until local produce is available again.

The world is a terrible place.

Galtung & Cultural Violence

Class on Monday was about structural causes of conflict and we came across Johan Galtung and his theory on structural violence. He breaks down violence into three basic categories: 1) direct violence (children are murdered); 2) structural violence (children die because of poverty); 3) cultural violence (children die because of something that the domestic or international community is blinded to or seeks to justify). We end direct violence by changing conflict behaviors. We end structural violence by removing structural injustices. We end cultural violence by changing attitudes.

We were talking about structural violence, but I've been thinking about this idea of cultural violence. Unlike direct and structural, it's symbolic and serves as a legitimizing factor. Galtung uses the example of the "superior race" ideology as a form of cultural violence because it leads to the legitimizing of the use of direct and/or structural violence. There's also this idea of cultural violence as when people who are capable of preventing or stopping violence choose not to because they are indifferent. The "it's not my problem" and "that's just what they do" attitudes (among others) can be in themselves a form of cultural violence, because they contribute to an environment where direct and structural conflict can take place. When we turn a blind eye or just don't care, we may be providing legitimacy for future violence.

Just something to think about.

Oh, and I'm doing great. Fall is well on its way in and I'm loving it.

Elmer and the Chickens

I've got some intense chest congestion going on and didn't sleep much last night. You know that feeling, where it feels like there's a belt tied way too tight around your lungs or there's an elephant just chilling on your chest. It was around 5 a.m. and the only thing on TV was Girls Gone Wild advertisements, so I was staring at the ceiling thinking delirious thoughts and imagining ridiculous ways of relieving the pressure when I remembered one of my favorite stories about Elmer. (side note: Elmer was our neighbor who was somewhat like a grandfather to me. He passed away in 2002).

When he first started farming he invested in twenty or so chickens. Not long after he got them, they got out of their coop and into some grasses they weren't supposed to eat. They vet said that the chickens couldn't digest the grass, so it would sit in their stomachs taking up space and blocking the digestion process until they died. It was better to slaughter them now and get what meat out of them he could.

Elmer didn't like that, so instead he got out some ether and a sewing kit and performed surgery on every last chicken. He knocked them out with ether, held them between his knees, and cut them open and removed the grass from their stomachs. He sewed them up with a needle and thread. Not one died.

Who does that?